Recently I was trying to figure out an issue with my website and I found myself getting frustrated at the lack of progress in fixing it. But after a couple days it finally clicked and just like that, it was fixed. In that moment I became such a hype man for myself as I emphatically said “Yeah! Because I’m a problem solver”. And I said it with my whole chest- I was hyped! But it felt like such a confidence boost in my ability to figure things out, even tough things.

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As I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned how my words can affect my feelings, thoughts, and outcome of a situation. When people talk about manifesting stuff in their lives, I believe it stems from how our words set a foundation for how things play out around us. So if we are more cautious about speaking positively about ourselves and our situations, we work towards more positive results.

If we create a habit of speaking kind words into our simple everyday lives, it’ll be easier to find the light during tough situations. Speaking positivity into ourselves has its benefits including building our self confidence.

I had long thought of myself as a problem solver, I think it’s deep in my DNA. But that experience reminded me to bring that trait to the forefront more and step more confidently into obstacles while understanding that it’s also unnecessary and unproductive for me to be frustrated- because I’m a problem solver and I will figure it out. I should reminded myself that I’m a problem solver from the beginning.

Now because I said what I said, I gotta live up to it. And that will build more confidence. The journey of making progress is like a slow catching fire, but before you know it, it ignites into something that’s really hard to stomp out. And you’ll have the confidence you need to go after the bigger goals you have and you trust yourself enough to accomplish the things you set your mind to.

So what kinds of things should you say to build confidence?

So this is a little deeper than saying affirmations, although they are a great starting point. You can start by committing to tiny or micro goals first to prove to yourself that you keep commitments to yourself. It should both important and impactful to you specifically. Try something related to any of the 5 pillars: faith, family, fitness, finance or freedom (lifestyle/fun).

You could start off by saying you’re going to pray or meditate for 5 minutes everyday. After consistently doing it, it becomes easier because you’re confident in your ability to continue, in fact, you’re getting better. So now, since you committed to it, you’ve now built a habit or learned a skill.

What are the actual steps?

You need to set a realistic goal.

It needs to be something small and impactful to your overall goal. Going back to the 5 pillars I mentioned earlier, typically everyone strives for something in any or all of those categories for a successful life. I would suggest a micro goal here, like spending 5 minutes daily in either prayer or meditation, or maybe 15 minute walk 4 days a week. Make that promise to yourself so you feel connected to actually following through. We build confidence by achieving small things that add up.

Write the goal down and periodically say it to yourself.

I use Trello (free) to keep track of my tasks and goals. I have it set up for both business and personal goals and I love it. When I complete a task, I can simply archive it, which means it complete. There’s something psychological about marking something complete and crossing it off your list that’s both rewarding and motivational.

Create an environment that facilitates you accomplishing your goal

This could mean starting off with the right affirmation every morning where you speak positive words over yourself and over your day. I mentioned in a previous article about how voice notes can be effective because you are passively listening to your own words speaking to you. You can also choose to refrain from things that conflict with your goal (i.e. unfollow pages that bully people) and subscribe to things that are all about positivity and personal development.

Hold yourself accountable

So a lot of people work best under pressure, right? If that’s you, you may want to add a penalty or punishment if you don’t accomplish what you intended to do. And it has to be a steep penalty, it has to “hurt” so that you are more motivated to avoid it. For example, if your micro goal is walking for 15 minutes every day and you don’t do it, then you might consider skipping dessert or you can pick something that stings more, like paying a friend $50. If that doesn’t work, your penalty isn’t steep enough.

Focus

Make your micro goal your priority. It can’t be a goal that you casually approach because you’re building confidence through accomplishing it. Confidence in yourself will help position you to chase the larger goals you deserve. Creating an environment that helps you thrive is also a strategy to help you focus.

Celebrate

So after you hit your micro goal, you probably want to celebrate somehow. After all, what’s the point of achieving something, if you can’t enjoy it! I’d recommend doing something to congratulate yourself for keeping your word and hitting your goal. And when you’re celebrating, be sure to remember the confidence boost you’re getting from doing a hard thing.

Create next goal.

So after celebrating, don’t forget to keep some momentum and channel it into your next micro goal. And as you repeat this cycle, you’ll incrementally develop more confidence in completing the things you said you would do.

So, chime in queens! Have you done anything to boost your confidence lately?