I must admit that I’ve been toxic to myself at moments over the years, unknowingly. I could point it out in others, but didn’t see it in myself. And as I’ve gotten older I’ve become more aware of how I treat myself and I’m no longer willing to accept the low- vibrational things that I (passively) used to.

And I think a lot of us going through those periods, for one reason or another, where we allow things to go on in our lives that we would tell a friend or family member not to. It’s almost as if we speak up when a friend is disrespecting herself, but don’t check ourselves for the disrespect we silently tolerate.

I just want to point out the fact, that it is entirely possible to be toxic towards ourselves, it doesn’t always come from our relationships with others. We created our own toxicity.

I’ve heard in the past that while it may not be your fault for the things that have happened in your childhood…..but once you are an adult it becomes entirely your fault for not healing from it. So let’s get healed from the toxicity we create for ourselves!

signs to know if you’re being toxic to yourself:

-          You pay too much attention to what others think about you

-          You don’t know your boundaries or you don’t communicate them at the right time

-          You take too much responsibility for the well-being of others

-          You always settle for less (in love, relationships, work, money etc)

-          You don’t trust yourself or your instincts

-          You constantly try to compare yourself to others

-          You don’t stand up for your needs and/or let other walk all over you

-          You don’t take care of your body and feel guilty to indulge in pampering it

-          You don’t feel free to express your ideas

-          You allow people in your life to pull you down  

strategies to help you stop being toxic:

Acknowledge and Accept

The key first step is recognizing that you are being toxic to yourself. Identify the harmful behaviors and negative thought patterns you have. Remember to be kind to yourself here, because this is simply a way to become more self-aware, it’s not meant to bring shame.

Understand the Root Causes

Why were you triggered in such a way that it led you to be toxic to yourself? Was it something from your childhood or a past relationship, etc? Once you understand the root causes, you can begin to address and heal them, rather than act our in an unhealthy way.

Set Boundaries

Part of the issue may be that you haven’t set up the proper boundaries or you don’t enforce the current ones. You can improve on this area by doing things like limiting contact with negative influences, setting clear expectations and saying ‘no’ when necessary.

Improve Self-Care

We practice 7 areas of self care at QLM to help women improve their wellness. Some of the areas we cover are physical, emotional/mental, financial and spiritual self care. Adding solutions like therapy, meditation, exercise, and exploring hobbies and a more expansive social life can all be ways to heal.

There’s a phrase “you are your worst enemy”. I believe that’s true for each and every one of us. Once we treat ourselves better, we can show up in the world better and therefore get the success and results we are looking for. So, just curious, in what ways do you feel you’ve been toxic to yourself?